


did it hurt when you fell from heaven? (and also when I hit you with my car)

by punkcowboy



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bad Pick Up Lines, Eudorable, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Origin Story, Tags R Whack, ha, hope u enjoy the fic, kind of adorable, meet cute, ok I’ll stop now, or should i say, puns, romance isn’t dead, what can i say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 17:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkcowboy/pseuds/punkcowboy
Summary: And now here she was, finally about to set off, and she’d somehow managed to hit someone whilst reversing out of her parking spot.Fuck this day.-Also known as ‘this title is far too long it’s just a cheesy Diego/Eudora story please enjoy’





	did it hurt when you fell from heaven? (and also when I hit you with my car)

**Author's Note:**

> A lil thing I wrote for the prompt 
> 
> “Please get up.”
> 
> Which had to be incorporated into the work somehow, and so i wrote this absolute fluff fest which is essentially a Diego/Eudora origin story. Enjoy :) 
> 
> Warning/s: quite a bit of swearing, someone gets hit by a car in case it wasn’t obvious from the title ( but dw they’re fine)

Eudora was having a horrible, awful, demoralising, frustratingly bad morning.

It was her first day at the Police Academy. Or, at least, it was meant to be- however, she had slept in because she was an idiot and forgot to set her alarm the night before. She wasn’t late, exactly- Patch’s are never late- but she was certainly later than she would’ve like to be.

The heating wasn’t working so her shower was _freezing_ cold, she ran out of hair ties and had to use a very finicky ribbon that almost definitely wasn’t going to stay in, and she’d spent a good twenty minutes searching for her flat keys before finding that she’d actually been smart enough the night before to put them into the keyhole on the inside of the door, probably to avoid this very situation.

Eudora hated last night her.

Needless to say, the day hadn’t gotten off to a great start. 

And now here she was, finally about to set off, and she’d somehow managed to hit someone while reversing out of her parking spot.

Fuck this day.

“Oh god, oh hell no,” she muttered, undoing her seatbelt and leaping out of the car in almost a single movement. She ran round to the back of the car, where the poor guy was lying on the ground, unmoving, with an alarming amount of red red red oh god _blood_  all over his arm.

“Crap! Crap, ok, uh, are you ok? Please, please be ok, c’mon man please get up,” she started babbling, crouching down to try to find the source of the blood, whilst she took her phone out of her pocket to dial 911. As she did so, the dude on the ground started groaning before reaching up and-

Hitting the phone out of her hand.

“Please don’t,” he breathed out, and _oh thank_ god _he’s alive._

Good to know she wasn’t going to get arrested for manslaughter on her first day of training.

However-

“Sir, you’re bleeding pretty heavily, I need to call you an ambulance.”

“Bleeding?” He frowned, looking down at himself, before his eyes cleared of confusion, “Oh! Oh, no, that’s just my slushie. Which you’re totally paying for, by the way.”

He pointed over a few yards to his right where there was, in fact, a slushie cup, contents spilled all over the road and indeed leaving a trail leading directly to the victim of Eudora’s unfortunate reversing job.

 _Well done Eudora, very observant of you. You’re going to make a_ fabulous _cop._

“Although,” the dude continued, sitting up, “you could make up for it by buying me dinner instead.”

Eudora blinked. _Was he-?_

“-or maybe just a lift?”

Right. That made more sense. She could work with that. (Although there was a tinge of disappointment for a reason that she couldn’t place just yet)

“Well, I’d like to give you a lift to a hospital, if you’d let me. You might not be bleeding but you could still have a concussion, and it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Oh, I’m fine- dealt with a lot worse before, and besides, I’m a tough guy. A strong, capable- totally single- guy,” he cleared his throat, “I’m also very responsible, and good at, uh. Adulthood.”

Eudora was sceptical of almost all of those points.

“A tough, responsible, adult guy who’s drinking a SlushPuppy at-“ she checked her watch, -“six in the morning?”

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for sweet things,” and then he- he  _just fucking winked._

Eudora was stunned. Both at the fact that he thought _that_ was a good pick up line (maybe he _was_ concussed) and also at the fact that he was flirting in the first place. Flirting, with the woman who’d just hit him. With her _car_.

“OK, well, if you’re not letting me give you a lift to the hospital, then I need to be going,” she stood up and waited for him to do the same.

He did not.

“What’s your name?”

Shit. Was he going to report her? She could _not_ get reported. Nope, she refused. Her career depended on it. Probably. 

“I- My name is Eudora Patch.” She crossed her arms, and eyed him up. He wasn’t reaching for a phone. Instead, he scrambled to his feet as gracefully as- well, ok, he was actually pretty graceful. Like a cat. Sort of.

A scrubby, slightly obnoxious, but still begrudgingly endearing, cat.

So yeah, a cat. 

They were now standing face-to-face. He had a strange sparkle in his eyes that Eudora knew meant trouble (but also made her traitorous heart race, just a little)

“Well, Eudora Patch, my name is Diego Hargreeves, and I think-“ he gave her a shit-eating grin, “- that I just fell for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Any feedback is much appreciated💓


End file.
